Existential Quandaries and Misgivings

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I gave up on forcing a lot of regular writing on this blog. It felt too rushed to be able to explore any subject deeply enough. And once I copped to that it was easy to get lost again in the questions of why. Why write something public? Who am I writing for? What do I wish to accomplish with this?

Good questions. Answers? I’ve been pondering them for several weeks. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

I enjoy other people’s blogs a lot. I get a lot out of them whether they’re professional, software stuff, stories about people’s journey in life (like PearceOnEarth.com)  or inspirational writing like everything on BrainPickings.org. I get a lot out of them.

Maybe I want to contribute in the tiniest way to the blogosphere. Maybe its ego but I don’t think so. I think I just like to put things out into the world for people to discover or not. I love creating. That act is the reward in itself. If someone else finds value in it then that’s even better but I don’t usually go out of my way to help people find the things I make. Maybe that’s why I feel kind of strange about writing publicly like this. Maybe it feels like I’m trying too hard to be seen…

After a lot of contemplation, I think I’ve come down to a few core reasons to write and publish here.

First, I am a seeker. I’m always asking questions and looking for better answers. Maybe its good to document some of that. Maybe someone will find some value in it. Maybe someone will help me find better answers.

Second, I need to remind myself of any truths that I happen to stumble upon. Putting them down here will serve as a repository where I can reflect on them as needed. And making them public will help me to keep a filter on it so as to minimize the amount of bullshit I allow to seep through.

I’ve also decided I need some ground rules:
1) I’m not here to create ‘content’ or try to build a ‘following.’  I’m not selling anything or trying to be popular. I don’t need content or a following.
2) There will be no more self-imposed requirements to write on any schedule. I may write three posts per day or once annually. The only requirement is that it be truthful, useful and interesting (at least to me).
3) This blog isn’t about any one thing. It is about everything that piques my curiosity or makes my synapses light up. Ultimately I guess I could say that it does stick to the theme of my quest for self understanding, knowledge and actualization. That’s a pretty big umbrella so I think I’m covered no matter where my meandering mind and fingers may lead.

I guess I’ve realized that for this to work, I have to be the target audience. And that feels like some sort of a breakthrough.

The 10 of 12, 20 Minute Writing Extravaganza Challenge!

by Posted in Self-Improvement, Writing Tagged , ,

OK, I admit it. So far I’m not so good at posting regularly. In the spirit of constant improvement and relentlessly clawing my way toward the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (self-actualization, actually), I’m posing myself a challenge:

The 10 out of 12 day, 20 minute writing extravaganza challenge (or the 10of12D20MWEC for short)!

OK, that name sucks but here’s what it is:

  • Write for 20 minutes, no more, no less 10 out of the next 12 days.
  • Post it on blog.
  • That’s it.

By limiting my time I give myself an out on perfectionism and limit my ability to weasel out because “<whine> I don’t have time <snivel>”. I’ve got 20 minutes. Seriously.

It also means that I’m going to be all over the place…because that’s how my brain is. But that’s OK.

Ever since I created this page and put up the first post, I’ve been hanging out in a local pit of existential agitation (I’m a regular there…they know me by name). I’ve been trying to figure out who I’m writing this for and why. If this is just going to be my self-serving brain-dump then why not just stick with Google Docs? The answer I’ve decided is that I do hope that someone, somewhere, someday may find some value in what I write. So, after having reached that magnificent breakthrough <rolls eyes> I have some ideas about what and how to write for this.

As for the how, I’m just going to pretend that you exist, ACTUAL-REAL-LIFE-TOTALLY-NOT-IMAGINARY, reader! And I’m going to assume that you’re reading because you’re getting some value. There. Done. Next question.

“What will I be writing about?” you ask, vast online multitudes of adoring totally-non-imaginary readers?
Well, I think it will be a mash-up of the most effective things to know about what I know. OK, that sentence should be condemned. What I mean (crap, just under five minutes left!) is that for something like playing guitar, I might choose the top four or five things that made the most difference to my students (back when I taught guitar), or the things that have helped me the most in my personal life (like how I mostly fixed my back problems).

My hope is that I’ll be able to get some good stuff put down without embarrassing myself too much in the process.

OK, 1-minute mark. Time to wrap it up. First entry in the 10of12D20MWEC down. Nine to go. Wish me luck! Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? <crickets>